Me and Ray LaMontagne Do the Dishes

Photo by Facundo Aranda on Unsplash

I can't do the dishes without Ray. Ray LaMontagne, that is. 

You see, when I look at that messy pile of what-just-happened in my kitchen, my first thought is "ugh". My second thought is "Ray".

I ask myself, is this a "2-song mess" or a "3-song mess"? Then I get to work. "OK Google - Play Ray LaMontagne". 

(If you've gotten this far, and don't know who Ray LaMontagne is, stop right now and listen to this song. You're welcome.) 

So often, I feel downright annoyed by the drudgery of daily life. 

Wake up. Make the bed. Make the breakfasts. Pack the lunches. Pack the homework. Wash the dishes. Fold the laundry. Clean the floors. Run the errands. Pick up at school. Fold more laundry. Wash more dishes. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 

Let's be honest. It can be BORING. Especially when there are so many other more thrilling things to do. Like read articles about life hacks. Or read The Invention of Wings. Or watch The Handmaid's Tale. Or sleep. Oh, glorious sleep. (Can you tell I'm an introvert?!)

The thing is, when I think about it, usually that thing I need to do will take me no longer than two songs do it. Three songs, max.

So, I roll up my sleeves, tell my husband that I need some alone time with Ray, and then we (me and Ray) do the dishes. (Don't worry - it'll be my husband's turn to do the dishes next.)

After about three songs, the dishes are done, I'm humming my favorite songs, and I'm off to read my book, or watch my show, or cuddle with my daughter, or sleep. Oh. Glorious. Sleep.

Next time you're faced with a little drudgery, invite somebody to do the dishes with you. 

Just not Ray.

He's taken. 

Camping with a K

Last weekend was a gorgeous camping weekend! 

We've been camping in the pop-up for 2 years now, and this year I finally feel like I am getting good at simplifying things. This helps SO much, because when you bring too much stuff, it's WAY more work and WAY more schlepping.

I'm now doing what I call "camping with a K", aka Camping the KonMari way.

Below are my top tips, and if you scroll all the way done, you can find photos as well!

1. I pack everything in categories - Clothing, Linen, Food and Komono (miscelleneous). So, I pack at home in that order, then I unpack at the campsite in that order, and then vice versa.  It prevents me from "zig zag" packing ("what the heck am I doing right now?!?") and keeps me focused on one thing at a time.

2. I use clear Sterilite bins from Target for each category.

3. I use colored duct tape and an Extreme Sharpie to label the bins. I label each side of the bin. This way, no matter which way the bins get packed into the car, I still know where everything is.

4. I use one gray packing cube for each of us. #wearthesamethingallweekend #itscampingafterall

5. This time, I got extra fancy and re-purposed some plastic containers to make a DIY Shake 'n Pour pancake mix and a smaller container for milk to fit in the cooler.

Similar to my beloved #backpackchallenge, this helps cut down on the work of travelling and adds lots of time to #donothing.

Tell me how you simplify YOUR travel this summer!

Keep categories simple

I pack in four main categories: Clothing, Linen, Food and Komono (miscellaneous)

Use sturdy bins and labels

I use inexpensive yet sturdy Sterilite bins, which I find at Target, paired with duct tape labeled with a Sharpie.

Use packing cubes

Instead of bulkier bags, we use packing cubes that fold open. (Yes, I do have throw pillows in my camper. #glamping)

Make cooking easy

I use old spaghetti sauce and coffee bottles to make DIY Shake ‘n Pour pancake mix. I also like bringing along a smaller container of milk for the cooler.

Our home away from home

We call her “La Posada”, which is Spanish for The Inn.

Soaking it in

Packing light means having more time to soak it all in. I highly recommend this local KOA near West Chester - it’s just 45 minutes from our house. We love it!

Do Something Badly

Photo by David Pisnoy on Unsplash

I heard a phrase the other day on my favorite podcast that felt like it was sent down from heaven: "Do something badly."

"What the heck does that mean?", you might say ... 

It means that you should give yourself total permission to do "that thing" that you always want to do but that you never do because you're afraid you'll be bad at it. So, do it anyway. Badly.

It means that you don't have to be good at yoga. You can do it badly.

It means that you don't have to be a great cook. You can do it badly.

It means that you don't have to meditate as if you were the second coming of Deepak Chopra. Do it badly. 

It means that you don't have to stress about the fact that you haven't written a blog post in two months because you just can't think of the perfect thing to say. (Ahem). You can do it badly.

Giving ourselves permission to do something badly means that we can get off of the hamster wheel of feeling like we have to be perfect at everything.

Life is not a Pinterest competition. There is so much beauty in imperfection. 

Do tell ... what are YOU going to do badly this week?

How to Get Dressed (Hint: Wear the Same Thing(s) ALL THE TIME)

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

My clients often ask me: "Do you wear the same thing every day?"

The answer is .... Sort of.

I don't necessarily wear the EXACT SAME THING EVERY DAY, but yes, I have about 4-5 outfits that I wear ALL THE TIME.

Why do I do that?

We make 35,000 decisions a day. That drains us. As a business owner, mom and CFO and COO (and housekeeper and launderer ...) of our household, I've got A LOT TO DO. So the last thing I want to waste my energy on is figuring out what the heck to wear.

So, my general formula is:

• I wear mostly black, dark blue, white and gray.

• I usually wear black leggings with a tunic-style shirt. (My fave leggings are here: Athleta - pricey but worth it - and Old Navy - inexpensive, so you can buy several).

• I try to buy higher quality items so that they last longer and wash better.

• I choose things can be dressed up or dressed down.

• It has to be comfortable.

• I have to feel great in it. (Like, you-might-run-into-your-celebrity-crush great)

• No ironing!

And that's about it. There's no magic formula. There's no exact number of items. There are no rules.

Ok, so now you may be thinking. Sounds great, Amanda. All puppies and butterflies. But how the heck do I get to that point??

pare it down

• Kondo It - The first fundamental step is to make sure EVERYTHING in your closet sparks joy. You can get this done in less than 5 hours, with a friend (or me!), and a glass of wine. Check out my step-by-step blog post here.

• Edit often - Sometimes I'll catch a non-joy-sparking offender in my closet and ask myself "How the heck did you survive in here this long?" Toss it in a basket in your closet, and when the basket is full, donate it.

• Keep a shopping list - I use Wunderlist to keep a running list of things I need. I do NOT wander aimlessly through the mall. Right now, I need a black camisole and black crew socks. That's it.

THE BOTTOM LINE

When you are at a stage in life where you've just got TOO MUCH TO DO, then DO LESS.

Channel your inner Steve Jobs (black tee and jeans!), make one less decision, and kick your morning off right. 

A Script for Letting Go of "That" Gift

Photo by Kristina Balić on Unsplash

When helping my clients to simplify their homes, we inevitably find a treasure trove of gifts that have been given to them that do NOT spark joy. You name it - candles, soaps, scarves, trinkets, souvenirs, the works. You can probably think of the ones in your home right now.

We feel an obligation to hold on to these items, even though we don't find them beautiful or useful, for fear of offending the giver. The thing is, they are weighing us down.

I help people let go not just of the item itself, but of the guilt that may come along with it.

Here's how the conversation typically goes:

Client: "Ugh, so this is a scarf that my daughter gave me a few years ago for Christmas."

Me: "Does it spark joy?"

Client: "Damn. I knew you were going to ask me that. I really don't like it, but I'm afraid she'll ask me about it if I let it go."

Me: "The act of giving sparks joy in the moment. It's the person's way of telling you that they care about you. Once the act of giving is over, if the gift doesn't spark joy, then you can feel free to let it go and let it spark joy for someone else."

Client: "But what if she asks me about it?"

Me: "You say: 'Hannah, you remember how I am doing this KonMari process to simplify my home and my life? You know, I'm identifying everything that sparks joy? Well, I just wanted to tell you something. You spark a ton of joy for me. I love you. That scarf you gave me last year for Christmas does not. I let it go. [Wait for laughter and possibly a spontaneous hug of forgiveness.] And I want you to know that if I ever give you anything that doesn't spark joy, you can let it go as well."

Client: "Ooooh, that sounds good. Will you write it down for me?"

Me: "I'll write a blog about it and send it to you." 

Remember, simplifying and de-cluttering your life means having a ruthless focus on what truly sparks joy, so that you have the time and space to focus on what really matters. It's the gift-GIVERS in your life that matter, not the gifts themselves.

Happy simplifying, friends.

PS - If you need a little laugh, check out this hilarious Saturday Night Live skit about the oh-so-frequent gift: the candle. :)

How to Buy Less (hint: print this wallet card)

Photo by Artificial Photography on Unsplash

One of the questions my clients often ask is: "After I've cleared out so much clutter, how do I make sure that I don't just go out and buy a bunch of stuff again?" I love this question because it really gets to the heart of why this work is so important.

Starting in the 80s, with the arrival of cheap imported goods, Americans began consuming at an unprecedented level. Because we could, we filled our home with fast fashion, clever gadgets and, yes, lots of boxes and bins to try to corral it all. In the end, the average American household ended up with an average of 300,000 items in it. The thing is, we DO NOT NEED ALL THIS STUFF.

Clearing your space of things that you don't need is incredibly important, but it's not always easy. It means several major behavior changes:

1. First, you take on the life-changing task of removing ALL of the items in your home that don't spark joy.

2. Then, you develop new daily habits to make sure that those joy-sparking items have a home, and that they always find their way back to that home.

3. And finally, you maintain a VERY high bar of what new things are allowed to make their way into your home.

So, how can we train ourselves to buy less? There are two ways.

KEEP A SHOPPING LIST

Use an app like Evernote or Wunderlist to keep a list of items that you truly need, so that when you are out shopping, you are ONLY looking for those items. When I help my clients de-clutter their closets, we often end up with a short list of items, like white tees, black leggings or black flats. Know what you need.

HAVE A HIGH BAR

My favorite resource comes from Sarah Von Bargen, an online financial coach and teacher. She has a fantastic wallet-sized card that you can put right in front of your credit card. It asks us to question our purchases BEFORE we buy them, with questions like:

    * If I had to wait in line for 30 minutes to buy this item, would I?
    * Before looking at the price tag, what would I be willing to pay?
    * Am I going to tear this open the second I get home because I am so excited to use it?

(That first question alone saved me recently when I found myself in line at Home Goods with a lilac candle. I put it back, and walked out of the store.) 

You can download the wallet card, which comes with a great workbook, here. Print it out, and let me know the next time YOU put something down and walk away. Your home and your sanity will thank you.

Yes, you can buy time.

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

The New York Times just published an article about how "buying time" (aka outsourcing or delegating) can increase your happiness level. Whether it's ordering take-out on a stressful weeknight or paying someone to clean your house, outsourcing specific tasks in your life can significantly reduce burnout and increase happiness.

So why don't we do it more? The researchers have a hunch: "a Protestant work ethic that values being busy or guilt over paying someone for a task that people could easily do ... 'We want to seem like we have it all together and we might be therefore resistant to spending money on time-saving purchases even when we can afford it.'"

Sound familiar?

In my work, I meet so many people working hard to "do it all". When you are in a state of overwhelm, there is only one thing to do: SIMPLIFY. One of the best tools to help you do this is the 4Ds, pioneered by legendary professional organizer Julie Morgenstern in her book Time Management from the Inside Out. Here’s how it works:

• Diminish - This one is my favorite! How can you do something faster? Or, what’s the “minimum effective dose?”

• Don't clean the whole house. Set a timer for 20 minutes and do your best impression of a Tazmanian Devil as you whiz around straightening up and wiping down.

• Love hosting but don't have the time? Host monthly "come as you are" dinners, where your guests (and you!) might even be in sweatpants and enjoy take-out or grill some food. (Great tip from my fellow KonMari buddy Patty Morrissey.)

• Defer - Can you do this later?

  • Use apps like ToDo to prioritize your to-dos and move tasks to “next week” with one easy click.

  • Look for open pockets of time on your calendar in the next week and schedule things that are important but not necessarily urgent, like finally making that vet appointment or renewing your passport.

• Delegate - Can someone else (or someTHING else) do this for you?

  • I LOVE delegating my grocery shopping to Peapod. Every time that happy green truck pulls up and plops my groceries right on my kitchen floor, the joy sparks fly.

  • Get a robot vacuum!

  • On your to-do list, note items that a spouse or partner can do. My husband knows he’s in trouble when I get out the purple Sharpie...

• Delete - Do you even need to do this at all?

  • Hate sending holiday cards? Don’t send them. That's all.

  • Got an invitation to a party that you don’t want to attend? Send your regrets. That's all.

That’s it! Keep the 4Ds in mind when you are faced with too many tasks and not enough time. They can help you quickly focus on what is the highest priority, so that you have time to spend on what’s truly important.

How might YOU buy more time, and happiness, in your life?